Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
The only person who has seen my penis more than that girl, is that girl's sister.
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
When I came home you were using a glowstick to eat peanut butter from the jar.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
Just keep my face away from hard objects. And by that I do not mean erect penised.... those are totally fine. It's more just things like rocks, table edges, blunt objects, etc so I don't get another concussion.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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