He asked me if I "almost moaned"
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I shit like a lady though so that rarely happens
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
My purse is full of condoms and money.
I like where this is going...
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