Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
