Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize