I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
Alright folks.. i have made history - I just hit my 2nd PARKED car SOBER withing 6 months.. :*( wtf?!
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
once the tequila comes in everyone elses feelings go out the window.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I was at a bus stop, eating a load of bread. Fairly sure I'm the poster child for poor students.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Randomize
