Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
Dude you spent the last hour of the night in the bathroom crying, asking someone why you will never be as smart as Mr.Feeney from boy meets world.
i'm gonna start fucking more girls with asthma. help feed my ego.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
last night I used snow as a chaser
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
