Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I have been drunk every time I've gone to mexico. I do not remember mexico.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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