I got fucking wesley sniped last night by that power hoe. How'd it end up on your end? Did you canoodle the stripper enough for her to agree to go to formal?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
I just figured out, there are 9 children in this world that I can look at in the face and say "I fucked your mom."
I will not ride trays down a flight of stairs topless and drunk....
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I'd love to sympathize with you but I'm drunk in a mansion
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
