I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Sorry, I was trapped in a small closet behind a washer. What's up?
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
as a side note pls kill me
im about to go through the checkout with 3 flasks and a wedding card. let the judgement begin!
update: cashier guessed cash bar before i could say anything. completely bypassed "dry" and knew cash bar right away. i love this state.
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
Randomize
