i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Less adorably, the dog stared me down, yelping, while I gave him a morning blowie.
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
i out mim tonsoeep
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