oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
As soon as he told me I had a 'pretty laugh' I knew I'd be putting out more than I had originally planned.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
We talked him into tasing himself.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
