Joe is yelling at the trees again.
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
