dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
