shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
