Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
Randomize
