Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
A horseman, i repeat, a man on a horse downtown just told me i was gorgeous and my friends were not. Not drunk enough.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
HEY JUST FOUND A SHIT TON OF MONEY IN THE PURSE HE SENT BRB GONNA GO BUY ME SOME MALE STRIPPERS AND BATHE IN THESE TWENTY DOLLAR BILLS
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
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