shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
