What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
Can I color on your dick again?
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
