Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I realized tonight the smell of my dirty pads remind me of my grandfather.
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
Also, if you all get arrested i'm coming to laugh at you because i don't have the money for bail.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Randomize
