apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I can feel his 12 year old sister"s eyes barreling into my soul everytime I'm at there house..some how she knows I'm cheating on her brother or she's mad cause I stole her shirt.
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
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