You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
what day is it and did you see me today?
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Randomize
