there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
You said, "can you make out with him for a little bit, I need a break."
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Want to come over and dangle your tits on top of me like a skewer?
Randomize