there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
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