After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
dude you need a shock collar for some of the things you say when you're drunk.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
