Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
My cleaning lady broke my bubbler. It's awkward between us now.
Why?
Because she knows I do drugs and I know she's a clumsy bitch.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I had sex with marker all over my face so I can do just about anything.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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