why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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