It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
Drinking with mariachis at jimmy johns.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I hate political talk. I just wanna get fucked into an alternate universe where Bernie Sanders is president.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Somehow, you looked so classy chugging that bottle of wine last night.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
Did I ever tell you what happened that night after he ran you over?
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
