So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
aparently we are going to have sex infront of her friend. ill call you tomorrow
i woke up with a grocery list signed by "the people who ate all your shit while you were passed out"
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
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