i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
They have beer where we have blood.
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
all i know is that i woke up at 12:00 am in a shower with egg shell in my hair. i am 90% sure you are responsible.
Randomize
