my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
i think you walked me home, then i felt bad for putting you through the trouble so i walked you home...i'm not sure how i got home after that.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize
