my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
the japanese bartender dressed as a cowboy in assless chaps just told me i was too drunk for another shot
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
You said you made a new recipe, but it turned out you just cooked ramen with vodka instead of water.
Randomize
