kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
you traded sex for a burrito?
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He just came into the room wearing nothing but a Speed Racer helmet. I think he just invented a fetish.
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I'm sure nobody at Walmart was wondering why I was wearing a glittery tutu and needed $300 changed into small bills
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
