The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I had just got her shirt off when I realized that I was about to fuck Chewbacca from Star Wars. The way she moaned confirmed that I was.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
WHY IS THERE A FUCKING DILDO IN PLACE OF MY GEAR SHIFTER IN MY CAR?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
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