I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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