Someone's playing Limp Bizkit out loud on the train. I think the decade reset it self.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Randomize
