Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
As girls, Bert & Ernie are not very bangable costumes. At least not by who we'd want to get banged by.
I was kidding. But I promise you I'd still find us the most eligible bangables, even if we dressed up like a dumpster and a prom night baby.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
