You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
Randomize
