Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
He managed to completely creep out every girl I was with last night. It was almost inspiring how efficient it was.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
I was really proud of me too last night! Found a discarded hamburger that I have no memory of at the foot of the bed. Instead of a Dude. I'm really growing as a person
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
