I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
Omg. Get me out of here. Someone is playing michelle branch.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Change of plans & whoring it up tonight
Randomize
