have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
I'm sorry. I really don't see what's wrong with pregaming before a wine tasting.This champagne won't drink itself.
The wine tasting is just for charity anyways...
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Flacco has been sacked like 7 times. His name also auto corrects to Flaccid. That's so sad
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We were supposed to have sex but we had smoked so much neither of us wanted to move.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
