this stripper weighs a pound. I feel like I should tip her in food.
The police scanner is talking about you again....
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
well my dad not being home definitely made it less awkward to walk in carrying the bra I left wearing.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
Randomize
