She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
