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every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
i want to open my blinds to let the sunlight in my room, but i'm afraid my neighbors will be able to see me drinking and judge me
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
Randomize
