So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
