Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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