Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Last time Jon threw a party I woke up on my porch, no shirt but 4 bras on, and "make better life choices" written on my stomach in sharpie
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Randomize
