it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Found the puke drawer
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Randomize