Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
