wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Ok so now that we've actually had sex do I get the last name or are u really witness protection status?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Also, let me tell you how embarrassing it is to match with someone who seemingly has their shit together at 4:45AM on a Thursday.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Randomize
