There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I love having a boyfriend. I just ate pancakes with regular syrup and chocolate syrup, I havent shaved my legs in a week, and Im still going to get laid tonight.
fuck. you.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize
