i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Randomize
