Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
