There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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