We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize
