the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
he had a beard, sexy nerd glasses and kept referring to his penis as 'this dick' its like jesus was saving my perfect match for my prime
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How many ballsacks did you see last night because I saw eight
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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